Jimmy, Jack, when are you coming back?*

Today my Convention Boyfriend of the Day is a McCain sandwich. The younger generation of McCain. No Not Cindy... even younger:

Jimmy

and Jack

Sure you're closer in age to your mother than she is to her hubby, John McCain, (which made it that much more creepy when she kept calling him a 'great father') but you're out serving your country in heroic fashion. And when you come home safely, don't forget to look me up.
(*with apologies to Martha Reeves and the Vandellas who sang "Jimmy Mack")

If you can't keep your Johnston in your Levis, come sit next to me...

It takes a true Maverick to take a GOP convention and make it focus on core issues like:

• pre-marital sex; and,
• the failings of abstinence-only sex education.

This blog is thankful that the "maverick" topping the GOP ticket this year did just that, by tapping an Arctic unknown as his VP choice, and inviting the boy who had been tapping her daughter to this year's convention. Levi Johnston, you are my Convention Boyfriend of The Day.

Levi, when you should have been home taping up your hockey stick for the next big game, you had other ideas... something kept distracting you...some things kept distracting you...
Your efforts were futile, but fertile. All the other 18-year olds in town look up to you because they know you're not lying about your conquests, and because you're (as you say on your MySpace page) "a f**kin' redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes... Ya f**k with me I'll kick ass."

And where did it get you? Only onto National TV!
There you sat in the Vice-Presidential box, contemplating your own vices, and your own boxes. But I hope you know that as my boyfriend of the day, I won't wipe food off your face on national TV like your baby mama chose to do:

Who else?

Who else could be my last Convention Boyfriend of the Day this week but the man of the hour (and the next 8 years)... Senator Barack Obama, himself!
Who else is lucky enough to have a former President and a future President as boyfriends all in the same week? Whew - what a week, I'm spent. It's the seventh day: I'm gonna' rest.

Mystery solved!

Oh mystery man from the convention, now I know who you are! You're Barack Obama's Brother-In-Law!

Not only are you cute and well-connected (and my Convention Boyfriend of the Day) but you're also a college professor.

Who's that man?

You must be important: you scored a seat right behind Michelle Obama during Thursday's big speech.



But it can't be just your smile that got you there, because you were on the stage hugging and chatting with Barack Obama after that dynamite speech:


I don't know who you are... except to say that you're my Convention Boyfriend of the Day.

Dancing like a Bronco

You showed up early enough to get a ticket on the field in the stadium. CNN put you on TV because you looked so cute when you were dancing. And I made you my Convention Boyfriend of the Day.

Your Secret's Safe with me...

Don't worry, Candy Crowley of CNN, you'll never be my Convention Boyfriend of the Day. You're just a vicitim of being in the middle of the screen (and let me apologize for what the freeze-frame caught of you) at the wrong time for you, but the right time for the sexy Secret Service agent to the right of you on the screen. When the convention is over, let's share some more secrets, my Convention Boyfriend of the Day.

So far away...

You couldn't make it to the convention, but you knew history was being made so you got yourself down to Times Square to watch Obama's speech on the big screen with other Americans who knew something important was going on.


And then when you realized you were on camera, and you knew you were going to be my Convention Boyfriend of the Day you gave me a wave:


Priceless.

Proud to be an American

In the midst of Steven Spielberg's special documentary film produced just for the Democratic National Convention to honor the men and women of the United States Armed Forces, one face leapt from the screen:
Stay safe, and come home safely with all your fellow Marines, because you're my Convention Boyfriend of the day.

Nobody Does It Better...

Though sometimes I wish someone could.

Nobody does it quite the way you do.
Did you have to be so good?
A President who is smart, charming, visionary... it's time to remember what that's like, starting with my Convention Boyfriend of the Day, Bill Clinton.

Wave your sign in the air.

You're beside yourself when you see Biden and Barack on stage at the same time for the first time... but why can't you be beside me, my Convention Boyfriend of The Day?

Oh anonymous one...

Who are you? I'm not sure of your name, but you're my Convention Boyfriend of the Day. You're not mine in real life, but Tivo can transform the fleeting moments that we might once have spent together and allow them to stretch into many slow-motion views of you applauding while pursing your lips.